Monday, April 8, 2019

A Day in the Life

Eli T. Cat woke at approximately 3 a.m. She was not aware of the time, but she knew her human would be up soon. She jumped on his squishy ribs and made the noise. The noise made the human happy, and it was part of the essential barter she felt must be respected. Eli was a pragmatist.

The human might or might not respond to the ritual. Regardless, the price must be paid. Today she was in luck, the human woke up shortly after she offered her advance. The human went into the small room. The lights were bright and the up-high box was loud, but she didn't mind. Soon her efforts would bare fruit. She presented her anus for inspection, then jumped up to the uneven footing of her human's legs. She needed to use her claws for additional traction. Her human ungratefully hissed at her, but she knew this hiss was hollow. She gained her footing and began sniffing the human's torso.

After her human finished it's hygiene ritual it went into the quiet small room. It put it's extra fur on and returned to it's nest to apply it's paw fur. Eli loved playing with this paw fur, it dangled helplessly for a few moments, which gave opportunity for a well timed strike. The human would run it's high-up-paws on Eli's back before finishing it's fur application. Eli knew it was time.

Eli darted for the primary room. The human stumbled inelegantly to the food place. Eli waited on the near by perch. The human would place fresh crunches in one bowl, then run water over the squishy bowl of delicious. It would add more water to her fountain, and it was good.

Eli took a few bites of her squishy food, then turned her attention to the human. Would the human leave, or would it stay? Today the human left. Eli sat in the darkness, keeping an eye out for prey. Only the mostly still fuzzy balls were available today, but she knew one day they would skitter in prey-like fashion.

Later the human would return. The bright outside had not come back yet. The human took it's THIRD! layer of fur off it's paws and made it's greeting noise. Eli watched from her perch high above the human. She meowed an expectant greeting. The human climbed a few steps until it's head was just below hers. She presented her flank for worship. The human complied. Moments later Eli decided she had received enough adoration and she weaved her way back to the main room.

The human placed the glowing rectangle onto it's lap and began to stare at it. Eli grew bored and sought a hunt. The human scratched Eli's ears for a few moments, then the creature returned. The creature did not appear to be edible, but it was vexing! It darted across carpet, couch, and paw with impunity. It zigged this way and that. It ran up walls and across ceilings. Sometimes Eli could not reach it, but most of the time it remained a pounce away. It was an uncatchable prey, but she knew it would be back again later.

Eli returned to her perch. The birds began their song and she watched through the see-through wall as they fluttered to and fro. Eventually the brightness returned, and Eli fell asleep.

The human ran it's paw down Eli's neck and ribs. The human seemed to enjoy this ritual, and the sun was warm on her face. She let out a contented purr. The human went to the food place and retrieved some white sticks. The human would frequently share these sticks. Eli anticipated the human's habits and sat where it would return. The human picked her up, the presumption! Still, it had the white sticks. She sat next to it, expectantly. The human ate the stick, but left a mouthful of white creaminess in it's claws. Eli picked the morsel up and chomped greedily. The human kept it's paw under Eli's mouth, as if she would drop it!

The human ate another stick, and offered a mouthful to Eli. Eli lapped it up as the human withdrew it's paw. Eli dropped it in the folds of the human nest. She immediately reached a paw into the crevasse to retrieve it, but she was unable to pull it out. The human intervened to Eli's dismay. She bit at it's paw, latching on to the weird leg it didn't use to walk. The human offered Eli the cheese, and she took it again.

She decided it was time to hunt again. The only available prey was the human's fur-over-fur paws. The human knew to expect this, and it caught her up. Entangled in the human's weird not-legs, Eli found herself paw-up. Eli hated this position, and used every opportunity to demonstrate this to the human. The human didn't seem to notice. It pressed it's mouth into her belly, and onto her head. Whenever the human's not-legs would present itself she retaliated with claw and tooth.

The human released her. Eli returned to attacking the fur-over-fur paw. Eventually the elusive dot returned. She chased it around, following it's elusive pattern until she became bored. The dot eventually faded and Eli made herself at home on the human's nest. The human would periodically bother her with more stroking.

Eli decided to return to her nest in the sun, with the birds and squirrels. There she napped until the human made it's next move. Today the human went to the whirring room. There were many perches in this room that the human felt territorial over. Eli had not learned the rules the human kept here, but she decided the higher perches were rightfully hers.

Those perches had unstable and weird brikabrack in her way. She couldn't quite establish her nest there, even though it was prime real estate. She stood atop narrow branches of plastic noise-makers. She'd paw anything she could off these higher perches. The human appeared transfixed by it's whirring boxes, so she would be able to gain a foothold on the higher vista.

The clatter of the space-takers falling to the floor momentarily startled Eli, but the human was startled as well. Eli took the opportunity to establish her nest. The human quickly looked over to her and made a variety of noises. Eli did not care for those noises, she knew she must entrench her claim.

Invariably the human used it's not-legs to return her to the floor. The brickabrack would be reset and the human would return to it's whirring box. Frustrated, Eli bit his feet and darted back to watch the last vestiges of the bright see-through wall. Different birds sang their songs, and the squirrels hid away. Eli claimed the human's bright-time nest and napped contentedly.

Eventually the human scooped her up and carried her to it's dark-time nest. Eli took advantage of the human's warmth for a while, before stalking off for her evening hunt. Crinkley paper and jingly balls were distraction enough until she decided it was time to start the ritual anew.

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