Wednesday, March 29, 2017

2017 Summer Movies

This summer is shaping up to be great for movies. Here are the movies that are coming out that I plan to see starting with...last week. By the way, there are some pretty big gaps in here. If you know of a movie that looks awesome that I've missed, say so.

Life Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal appear in this amazing suspense film. I will not to go in to details, but this movie is the best example of cosmic horror I've seen in years. It's great. I might go watch it again tomorrow by myself. I cannot stress enough how much I enjoyed this movie.

Ghost in the Shell Staring Scarlet Johansson, this live action adaptation of the classic anime movie looks good to me. Some of my more progressive friends are giving it a pass because if Scarlet Johansson is one thing, it isn't Japanese. That's fair; I understand where they're coming from. I also am excited to support cyberpunk themes in big budget movies. So, there's that.

The Void This one is another Lovecraftian horror movie. It's been getting a lot of positive reviews from the (targeted) festival circuit. The trailer looks dope, and possibly fly.

The F8 of the Furious The 8th(!) installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise. These movies keep getting more ridiculous, and more fun, as they go on. I can't wait to see what kind of over the top, dumb antics Dominic Toretto and crew get up to this time.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 There is nothing that could keep me out of this movie. If you need a plot synopsis of this, I'm not sure why you're on this blog.

Snatched ...I'm not positive about this. I'm not a huge Amy Schumer fan, but this looks kind of funny. I might be in the theater, or I might wait for a rental. We'll see when that week gets closer.

Aliens: Covenant Don't hurt me again, Aliens franchise. I sat through Aliens 4. I endured Prometheus. Please. Please. Please be decent. Peach zenomorphs are not a great sign.
Wonder Woman This is DC's last chance before I swear off anything that isn't Bat-family. (Seriously, give us a Nightwing movie. It'd be so good!) I'm not particularly optimistic about this flick, but I suspect it'll be popular with my Girl Power! friends. As long as they don't screw that angle up, I will watch it and I'll probably have a good time with it.

Resident Evil: Vendetta I am not going to say that this movie is for everyone. BUT if you're the kind of person who enjoys the campy stories that video games often produce, I think this will deliver. I have no idea how I'll watch it in theaters, I'm not expecting a major release. It might be a Fathom Events thing?

Spider-Man: Homecoming Third try is the charm, right guys? This time we've got Marvel Studios in creative control. In Captain America: Civil War they showed us our new Peter Parker, and he was great. I remember pumping my fist excitedly when he showed up in that movie. We've got one of the more dynamic Spider-Man villains, Adrian Toomes - played by motherfucking Batman himself, Michael Keaton. Jon Favreau is back as Happy Hogan - I've missed him since the last Iron Man. I'm not sold on Marisa Tomei as Aunt May. I shouldn't be attracted to Aunt May, and Marisa Tomei will always be beautiful. I understand Marvel is going to hammer on the MCU being a part of Spider-Man's world. I hope he bridges the gap between Daredevil/The Defenders and Iron Man/The Avengers, as is Spider-Man's place in the comics but I'm not really holding my breath. I think it'll be a bit before we're ready for another Spider-Man solo sto---oh my god they're doing Secret Wars we might get a proper black suit Spider-Man. ... Guys, I'm excited for this movie and I really want it to be great.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets This is a scifi action flick directed by the dude who did 5th Element. John Goodman is in it. Cara Delevingne is in it. It looks like it could be pretty cool. The comic this movie is based on is an inspiration for Star Wars, The 5th Element, Saga, and a bunch of other stuff you may have heard of.

That's it for movies for the summer. August has The Dark Tower, if you care about that. The fall has Blade Runner, Thor, Cloverfield, and a bunch of other stuff that'll probably be great. But that's later. This summer is going to be AWESOME for nerds who fit my particular profile.

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